:) Hi Darylick,
It sounds by what you're saying, you would like to control everything via SSH, however it will be hard to find a host that will give you this on a reseller account due to security reasons.

Have you tried WHM/Cpanel it is, if not the most popular reseller control panel then at least one of them. It is very simple to use and as a reseller you have total control over your accounts.

As for private nameservers, most hosts provide them now so that wont be an issue. If by name registration you mean whois information again if the host knows what they are doing then your clients will not find any information on your reseller provider through a standard whois lookup.

There isn't any Online sign up or third party billing incorporated with cpanel so you can use your own and when you create an account the interface shows you how much space and bandwidth your account has and what you have used and what is left to use.

Hope this helps.